妙灯28预测大师

2020-02-18 21:38:28 982800

I know it makes me a bad parent, but I can’t stop. I started smoking when I was 19 and working nights in a bar. The only way you could get a break

was to have a cigarette, so I bought a pack. Apart from a few failed, half-hearted attempts to quit and

the duration of my pregnancies, cigarettes have been with me ever since. In fact, the reason for starting again after my children were born is much the same as the reason I started in the first place: an excuse for a break.What I’m really thinking: the son of an alcoholic Read moreFor the five minutes the cigarette lasts, I am myself again. I am not Mummy. After all, what kind of mummy would do this? I’m not a monster. I never smoke in front of or around my c

hildren. I have bolt holes: the end of the garden, a walk with the dog. Give me a night out and I spend it in a cloud of nicotine. I’m far more sly than those mothers you see smoking at the pushchair, tapping ash into the pram, but am I really all that different?In truth, it is getting harder to justify. No amount of teeth brushing and hand washing can completely eliminate the sme

ll of smoke. The child

ren notice. And I’m sick of the need

to leave them. They notice that, too. Sometimes, I’m playing with them, listening to them, feeding them, and all I can

think about is where the next cigarette is coming from. And there is the health risk. I know this, I’m not an idiot. It was all very well ignoring it when there was just me to worry about, but now I spend nights imagining what would happen to them if I got sick. Then I go for a cigarette.I’

m an addict. I’m fil

led with guilt. But I know I’m not stopping any time soon.? Tell us what you’re really thinking at mind@theguardian.co

m